• Question: Why aren't you telling us jokes?

    Asked by badeggs to Philip, Paddy, Michael, Eva on 13 Jun 2011.
    • Photo: Philip Denniff

      Philip Denniff answered on 11 Jun 2011:

      Try this one
      The Blackfeet asked their Chief in autumn, if the winter was going to be cold or not. Being a new chief and, not really knowing the answer, he looked at the sky and replies that the winter was going to be cold and that the members of the village were to collect wood to be prepared.
      Being a good leader, he then went to the nearest phone booth and called the National Weather Service and asked, “Is this winter to be cold?” The man on the phone responded, “This winter was going to be quite cold indeed.”
      So the Chief went back to speed up his people to collect even more wood to be prepared. A week later he called the National Weather Service again, “Is it going to be a very cold winter?”
      “Yes,” the man replied, “its going to be a very cold winter.”
      So the Chief goes back to his people and orders them to go and find
      every scrap of wood they can find. Two weeks later he calls the National Weather Service again and asks “Are you absolutely sure, that the winter is going to be very cold?”
      “Absolutely” the man replies, “the Blackfeet are collecting wood like crazy!”

    • Photo: Paddy Brock

      Paddy Brock answered on 12 Jun 2011:

      How about this:

      The Unjust Salary Theorem asserts that scientists can never earn as much as sales people. This theorem is proved as follows. Start by using the physics formula Power = Work / Time Now you probably have heard that Knowledge is Power and Time is Money. Substitute these tautologies into the formula for power to obtain Knowledge = Work/Money Solving for Money, one finds Money = Work / Knowledge. Therefore, the less you know, the more you make.

    • Photo: Eva Bachmair

      Eva Bachmair answered on 13 Jun 2011:

      A police officer pulled a guy over for speeding and had the following exchange:

      Officer: May I see your driver’s license?

      Driver: I don’t have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

      Officer: May I see the owner’s card for this vehicle?

      Driver: It’s not my car. I stole it.

      Officer: This car is stolen?

      Driver: That’s right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner’s card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

      Officer: There’s a gun in the glove box?

      Driver: Yes, sir. That’s where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.

      Officer: There’s a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?

      Driver: Yes, sir.

      Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation.

      Captain: Sir, can I see your license?

      Driver: Sure. Here it is.

      The driver’s license was valid.

      Captain: Who’s car is this?

      Driver: It’s mine, officer. Here’s the owner’s card.

      The driver owned the car.

      Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there’s a gun in it?

      Driver: Yes, sir, but there’s no gun in it.

      Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

      Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there’s a body in it.

      Driver: No problem.

      Trunk is opened; no body.

      Captain: I don’t understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn’t have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glove box, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.

      Driver: Yeah, and I’ll bet the lying S.O.B. told you I was speeding, too!

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